Yelling at the TV

We all have an image of ourselves in our mind that often air-brushes out some of the imperfections and I am no different. However, one of the problems with self-awareness is that we are also aware of our imperfections. I tend to see myself as a decent Christian man even in the face of advocating the nuclear pulverization of Islamic cities and their inhabitants yesterday. In that case, I can reasonably separate what I believe as a Christian and the necessities of fighting a generational war against someone who MADE THEIRSELF my mortal enemy.

One of my worse failings though is my mouth. I am a bit of a cusser (I'm also a smart-a## but that's a different issue). I learned it in a public university! In spite of my loose usage of certain words, I have used the f-word sparingly as it is simply too vulgar for me. I also have actively chosen not to curse in any way that invokes the Almighty or his Son. In addition, due to changes I want to make in my life, I have been trying to keep from arbitrarily tossing cuss words into my everyday conversation; which is increasingly difficult in a steadily coarsening society. Unfortunately, I find myself firing off a few of my arbitrary strings of profanity while yelling at the television.

Just this past weekend, I was reduced to the NFL on NBC for 'entertainment' and found myself shouting for someone to roughly insert a pole of some sort in a certain orifice belonging to Keith Olberman (this on the heels of him being called KO for the umpteenth time in five minutes). I may have also referred to his genitalia as a wild field grass. When watching Fox News (or ANY news), I often find myself yelling at the liberal talking head, often referring to them as a vulgarism for a part of the female anatomy - and so you know, that vulgarism does not begin with the letter 'c' (and now we know why I blog instead of being a talking head). I yell at coaches and managers for making poor play choices while watching college football and MLB - although that doesn't always involve cussing. I yell at "Bones" when they push PC/leftist crap into the plot (e.g. Angela trying to 'save' a pig from being breakfast meat; everyone being too obsequious to the Muslim intern (they trashed a Christian's beliefs in the same episode)). The NBC channels turning their logos green for 'green week'. The ever-present logos in the bottom right corner (I KNOW WHICH *%$^%$##%# CHANNEL I'M WATCHING!!!). One of my personal favorites is watching science shows about the beginning of the universe/solar system/earth where they contradict what they just said in a previous segment of the same show/the previous show/or last week. A few weeks ago, a geologist announced that between 2.5 to 12 times the water in the oceans exists locked in the earth's crust and mantle; at which point I turned to Mrs. C and said "He just confirmed that Noah's flood was possible". OK, that didn't involve cussing but I still yell at the scientists who go miles out of their way to create a theory that denies the existence of God. Anyone ever hear of Ockham's Razor?

However the other night I had a real problem while watching the tail end of a history of Thanksgiving program on the PC "History" Channel. Granted they were talking about how the holiday has become a political brier patch and showing footage of the people of Plymouth doing their annual parade out to Plymouth Rock and being disrupted by civilization hating 'native' Americans. Then the show broke to a sound bite from one of the moron-dians whining about European colonization (you know because we're going to reverse that). It is so easy to sympathize with the plight of someone sitting in a comfortable room, wearing well made and reasonably new clothing (that looked higher end), who gets a check from the US Government every month simply for existing, and can ignore a fair number of governement regulations that European Americans ignore at their peril. I guess the wheel, written language, horses, and gunpowder weren't enough of a trade for him. Funny, it makes you pretty popular when you give another civilization those things in Sid Meier's Civilization games.

Falling into near fits of apoplexy by the time they broke for a commercial, instead of relief I got shoved over the edge by the first ad. In pushing its next show, America before Columbus, I was put in a conundrum as I tried to laugh and suffer a facial tic at the same time. Images from America before Columbus flashed by as the narrator blabbed his PC script when a small group of Indians rode...RODE...onto center screen...ON HORSEBACK!!! Now I will accept that the images had no context with them so it could have been part of the tease but I am 100% sure that America before Columbus did not...DID NOT...have horses! Fortunately, a giggle won out but I did back up and make Mrs. Crusader tell me what was wrong with the commercial (she got it right too!).

I didn't watch America before Columbus.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am thankful for that blemish on my self perception. It and several other things I see as personal failings keep my already oversized ego somewhat in check!