More Rambling Thoughts

Afghanistan is a failed state. The Indians (that's natives of India not aboriginal North Americans) knew it. The Mongols and Chinese knew it. The Muslim Caliphs knew it. The British found out. The Soviets found out in brutal fashion. Even the Taliban knew it. For some reason we haven't learned it yet. I believe its because the people at the State Department assigned to Afghanistan are "experts" in Latin America or Africa but that's only my opinion.

You can control Afghanistan but not if you fight a "civilized", Western style war. We need to drop poison gas (we have plenty wasting away in depots in Umatilla, OR and Hawthorne, NV) in every cave from Kabul to Lahore (that's in Pakistan for the geographically ignorant) and count the bodies until we get Osama bin Laden and his cronies.

Speaking of failed states, we haven't learned much from the debacle in Somalia that was started by Bush 41 and shorted by another loser left-wing president. I guess on the plus side, Afghanistan is land locked so there won't be many pirates raiding shipping from there.

Continuing with the failed state theme, how about California, huh? Just like their peers in the Beltway, the CA general assembly passed a bill to spend umpteen billion dollars that they don't have. Not to worry though. I'm sure that the Fed's will bail them out. California is the world's 8th largest economy on its own. They seem to be banking on the hope that they will be "too big to fail" and hey, why not. With the precedent set by the bailouts of the banks and GM and Chrysler it looks like their hope will take our change and large bills as well.

Joe Morgan may be the worst sports broadcaster EVER. He is a horrible combination of grandpa Simpson and Narcissus. In other words, he tells disjointed rambling stories that are all about himself and how wonderful he is. Which makes him just like our president...

Those of you who know me know that I have no problem with women in positions of authority. Heck I have worked for women and I have a female doctor; so I'm obviously not threatened by it. That said, I swear that most of the women in Congress are some of the dumbest fishwives ever spawned. Nancy 'Bo-tox' Pelosi can't open her mouth without lowering the IQ of the room she's in. Sadly that's better than her ne'er-do-well witch apprentice Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (ah, the famous hyphenated last name...the flashing red light of b*tchiness) who can't string together a coherent thought to get it out. California gives us a who's who of moron women including Maxine Waters, Zoe Lofgren, Hilda Solis (who is now Labor Secretary), Jane Harman, and their two vomit inducing Senators: Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer (Democrats all). Here in Washington we suffer the Basset Hound of politics: Patty Murray and her apprentice witch Maria Cantwell (oh, the things I've done to that last name!). The Republicans aren't much better with Olympia Snowe and the ditsy Susan Collins. These hags and political whores don't do much credit to their part of the species.

Is that enough for today? I haven't been focused on politics this week. I'll try to alert you in advance next time.

One more thing since I'm listening to Christmas Carols on the radio. I really don't like Karen Carpenter. Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate her silky voice, but for crying out loud, her songs could go on the Soundtrack to Seasonal Affective Disorder. She sings waaaaaaaaaay too slow. William Shatner doesn't draw out a word like she can. Some people may like that but I like my music up tempo and BIG.

If you've heard Amy Grant's versions of Angels We Have Heard on High and Hark the Herald Angels Sing, or Michael Crawford singing O Holy Night, or Boney M singing Mary's Boy Child (all favorite carols), then you have an idea of how I like my music. I once told someone that I will not have considered myself to have fully lived until I have heard Ride of the Valkyries clearly from a mile away. If it can be sung it should be accompanied by music (that doesn't include rap which should be accompanied by the report of field artillery and followed by silence). If it can be accompanied by music it should be orchestrated. If you can orchestrate it and add a chorus then you can double the orchestra. Music should move you...literally. The sound waves should be felt in your body and physically move your cells.

Yelling at the TV

We all have an image of ourselves in our mind that often air-brushes out some of the imperfections and I am no different. However, one of the problems with self-awareness is that we are also aware of our imperfections. I tend to see myself as a decent Christian man even in the face of advocating the nuclear pulverization of Islamic cities and their inhabitants yesterday. In that case, I can reasonably separate what I believe as a Christian and the necessities of fighting a generational war against someone who MADE THEIRSELF my mortal enemy.

One of my worse failings though is my mouth. I am a bit of a cusser (I'm also a smart-a## but that's a different issue). I learned it in a public university! In spite of my loose usage of certain words, I have used the f-word sparingly as it is simply too vulgar for me. I also have actively chosen not to curse in any way that invokes the Almighty or his Son. In addition, due to changes I want to make in my life, I have been trying to keep from arbitrarily tossing cuss words into my everyday conversation; which is increasingly difficult in a steadily coarsening society. Unfortunately, I find myself firing off a few of my arbitrary strings of profanity while yelling at the television.

Just this past weekend, I was reduced to the NFL on NBC for 'entertainment' and found myself shouting for someone to roughly insert a pole of some sort in a certain orifice belonging to Keith Olberman (this on the heels of him being called KO for the umpteenth time in five minutes). I may have also referred to his genitalia as a wild field grass. When watching Fox News (or ANY news), I often find myself yelling at the liberal talking head, often referring to them as a vulgarism for a part of the female anatomy - and so you know, that vulgarism does not begin with the letter 'c' (and now we know why I blog instead of being a talking head). I yell at coaches and managers for making poor play choices while watching college football and MLB - although that doesn't always involve cussing. I yell at "Bones" when they push PC/leftist crap into the plot (e.g. Angela trying to 'save' a pig from being breakfast meat; everyone being too obsequious to the Muslim intern (they trashed a Christian's beliefs in the same episode)). The NBC channels turning their logos green for 'green week'. The ever-present logos in the bottom right corner (I KNOW WHICH *%$^%$##%# CHANNEL I'M WATCHING!!!). One of my personal favorites is watching science shows about the beginning of the universe/solar system/earth where they contradict what they just said in a previous segment of the same show/the previous show/or last week. A few weeks ago, a geologist announced that between 2.5 to 12 times the water in the oceans exists locked in the earth's crust and mantle; at which point I turned to Mrs. C and said "He just confirmed that Noah's flood was possible". OK, that didn't involve cussing but I still yell at the scientists who go miles out of their way to create a theory that denies the existence of God. Anyone ever hear of Ockham's Razor?

However the other night I had a real problem while watching the tail end of a history of Thanksgiving program on the PC "History" Channel. Granted they were talking about how the holiday has become a political brier patch and showing footage of the people of Plymouth doing their annual parade out to Plymouth Rock and being disrupted by civilization hating 'native' Americans. Then the show broke to a sound bite from one of the moron-dians whining about European colonization (you know because we're going to reverse that). It is so easy to sympathize with the plight of someone sitting in a comfortable room, wearing well made and reasonably new clothing (that looked higher end), who gets a check from the US Government every month simply for existing, and can ignore a fair number of governement regulations that European Americans ignore at their peril. I guess the wheel, written language, horses, and gunpowder weren't enough of a trade for him. Funny, it makes you pretty popular when you give another civilization those things in Sid Meier's Civilization games.

Falling into near fits of apoplexy by the time they broke for a commercial, instead of relief I got shoved over the edge by the first ad. In pushing its next show, America before Columbus, I was put in a conundrum as I tried to laugh and suffer a facial tic at the same time. Images from America before Columbus flashed by as the narrator blabbed his PC script when a small group of Indians rode...RODE...onto center screen...ON HORSEBACK!!! Now I will accept that the images had no context with them so it could have been part of the tease but I am 100% sure that America before Columbus did not...DID NOT...have horses! Fortunately, a giggle won out but I did back up and make Mrs. Crusader tell me what was wrong with the commercial (she got it right too!).

I didn't watch America before Columbus.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am thankful for that blemish on my self perception. It and several other things I see as personal failings keep my already oversized ego somewhat in check!

Random Entertainment Grumbles

So Mrs. Crusader informed me that the director of 2012 cut a scene from his disaster movie 2012 which showed Mecca being destroyed lest he get a fatwa issued against him. So much for free speech. Of course he can still show the statue of Christ above Rio toppling over and the dome of the Vatican collapsing on top of people. That must mean that Christians are much more reasonable than Muslims or we know that holiness does not reside in a place or object but solely with God. I don't foresee the Pope being offended by it. Hmm...world ending disaster movie showing famous places being destroyed; obviously an attack on the Catholic Church!

Speaking of the Catholic Church, have you ever noticed that in movies you only really see Catholics represented? Granted they are generally easy to spot with their collars, their robes, and funny hat collection whereas a Protestant preacher could easily be the guy standing next to you wearing jeans and a leather jacket. Horror movies are always a kick for me because the priest is inevitably faithless or 'wrestling' with his faith to a point that he can't ward off the incoming demon with all his fancy rituals and liturgical chant. Oh how I long to direct the movie where a devoted Protestant minister comes waltzing in, looks at the hapless priest with a roll of the eyes, studies the victim, says "In the name of Jesus Christ you are commanded to leave this body", and poof evil demon leaves without time to give a forwarding address. It would probably be pretty anti-climactic since that would cover ten minutes of movie time and they'd have 80 more to fill without the scary demon around...

I haven't watched the new V series but hear that it is a thinly disguised criticism of the Obama administration which is interesting coming from the All Barrack Channel and so soon. I mean it took well over a year for any seriously overt anti-Bush rhetoric to show up in our 'entertainment' (other than the whole hanging chad thing). I'm pretty sure you won't see that over on the National Barrack Channel. Though outside of Heroes or if you watch the 15 incarnations of Law and Order, I'm not sure anyone sees much of anything on NBC. You know your network is failing when you move your "Tonight Show" style show to Prime Time and your comedy shows are up against Bones and Fringe over on Fox.

Thank Heaven for the Saturday Sci-Fi (sorry that is Sy-Fy now) movies. These B movies with hackneyed plots and writing that looks like it came off the PC's of government run high school creative writing class are about the most entertaining thing on television anymore. Sometimes you get a fairly decent one but most of the time you'll choke on your popcorn as you laugh at the plot holes or make MST3K (Mystery Science Theater 3000 - google it if you don't get the reference) like quips over the dialogue or situation on screen. This weekend's offering, Ice Twister, should be another glorious entry in the endless procession of films that make you wonder why you're wasting your life in front of the television!

I could go on about things that annoy me like how Bones is accommodating to Muslim characters and portrays Christians in a bad light or the propaganda that gets inserted into my entertainment on a regular basis but this is Friday and those are another blog. Enjoy your weekend.